poetry by penelope olivia wilder

anatomy of a woman’s wrath from The Final Girl Doesn’t Die at the End

there have been many times where i stood stationary on a linoleum floor bare feet and cracked heels scratching on the surface, catching on every nick small delicate fingers gripping the sides of a porcelain bowl i look up from a bowed position to see myself— no, a reflection of myself— with eyes as startled and naked as the day i was born

i stare and stare and wonder why the light has left my irises and when, exactly, did i let my guard down i ponder if time has really healed all the wounds they said it would because sometimes my heart is wrapped in gnarled, rotted wood and someone, something sets it alight and laughs as the embers float away and i’m left to scramble after the charred pieces and clench them in my fists even though it burns.

most of the time though, when i try to see myself in a mirror my body is present i’m much too far away behind the blank stare is a cacophony of all the evil i wish i’d done in those moments of fear and sadness and anguish because they took a little girl and made her into a machine and now, she will not stop whirring until she short-circuits or she blows up but

i’ve come to terms with the fact that if i have to live to be so heinous, it’s not of my own making yet— i no longer fear what i’ve become but instead what i’ve wanted to do because with electricity at my fingertips i ache to pull my enemies into standing water.

Penelope Olivia Wilder is an emerging playwright, poet, and artist currently pursuing their BA degree in Playwriting and English Literature from Columbia College Chicago. Their work in playwriting has been shown in numerous events on the campus of Columbia, such as Playwrights Aloud and The Playwriting New-Stew. Their work in poetry has been shown in publications such as The Chillfilltr Review (“the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice”), Words and Whispers (“my beckoning to you, mine”), and Nebo Magazine (“to whom it may concern”). They reside in Chicago, Illinois.