poetry by river snowdrop
Mulberry Literary Fresh Voices Award First Place Winner in Poetry

ENBY GOES TO TEA

oh don’t we just cut our tiny sandwiches into
tinier mouthfuls; oh lovely little nibble, only a
taste. must talk about weight reassurance reassurance
this is womanhood! this is being a girl!
don’t we just coo at teacups, when someone
brings up a photo of a niece and we each
take our turn sighing. oh the prettiness of the
display. oh god the blooms! we are just in a room
built for alice and the cat and we are grinning,
aren’t we? ‘cos we’re women!
our cakes are small and our cherries delightful.
bitten off into thirds. we are the girls!
we of tender precious wrists. fork-lifting hurts!
we of skirts and soft clothes. when one of us
heads home, don’t we all just flock, don’t we all
just crowd around and bray. we are not prey!!
hey!! don’t you fuck with us! we of sour touch.
we of citrus burn; we are girls. we know the smell
of blood, our hands are covered in it, every day!
oh men could never play with us, those roughed up
creatures, those awful lads, like growing fungus.
oh what we’d do to one among us!

THE POET PUBLICLY COLLAPSES, RECOUNTS

organs, i was. 
 bones & belly button out the wrong way.
 swaying down the street with my melted body.
 my mistaken form. 
i was not born, perhaps, like that.
 softness had once been inside me, like ice cream
 sandwiches, i was all vanilla filling. frozen sweet
 shell. unwell, i came 
undone. blamed it on mum,
 on missing father, on chemistry sets. sex & when i
 learned about it. age. took that rage & realised my
 hard bits were internalising, my centre became solder.
outside, my shoulder. 
 you could have punctured a lung; plunged forward &
 touched my heart like it was right there, it was open.
 golden grin like a horror film 
like external smile, 
 all not-quite-white teeth, all nerve-endings.
 have you ever seen veins bending, twisting like roots, 
 like tangled headphone wires, sound sound sound? 
my blood hit the ground, fast. 
 i knew i was a goner. lonely exposure. no one could ever
hug. the river that i’d dug only kept out the kind people.
the ones i should have asked to stay.

RIVER SNOWDROP is a queer non-binary poet from Manchester, UK. They are the author of two self-published poetry books: Snowdrop, and their latest collection, ANTS IN A JAM JAR. Olivia is also active on Instagram as @oliviasnowdrop and has been previously published in Honeyfire Literary Magazine, Pulp Poets Press, orangepeel literary magazine, Free Verse Revolution, fifth wheel press, and Querencia Press.