Going Back to Your Roots, with MULAN
Interview by Katie Lynn Johnston & Darcy Dillon
This week, we’re sharing a craft interview with previous Mulberry contributing writer, MULAN, (“I Strip But I Swear, I’m Not a Stripper”). Below, MULAN opens up about her roots as a writer, the benefits of going back to square one, and how her life comes through in her art.
What got you into writing? Was there a moment when you first realized you wanted to write?
I got into writing through anime. Because I never really felt like I fit in with anyone in middle or high school, and my home life wasn’t the best, I found comfort in the shows I would see on TV. I’ve always loved the world building in Shonen Jump anime, and I liked to imagine myself in them to escape from reality. That’s where the writing came in. It sounds so childish to say this, but I would write fanfiction. It was more than just falling in love with the characters, though; I would live with them, be friends with them, laugh with them, cry with them—hell, they would cry with me. It was a life I wished to live in other than my own because these characters felt more real than the people I actually knew. I started to post my fanfics on a blog, mainly so that I had a place to put them, but was surprised when a lot of people enjoyed reading them, too. My blog had over 1,500 people following me at one point—and this was back when anime wasn’t as huge as it is now—so along with writing, I liked that I had a cute, exclusive, little community for myself.
When my grandfather passed away in 2012, my writing started to become more serious and realistic as a way for me to cope with home issues. I was scared to share things so personal at first, but I really enjoyed writing and so when I posted a new story, I was shocked to see that my followers also liked reading that. They were so kind and told me a lot of them were going through the same things—not just the death in the family, but issues with their own parents and siblings and whatnot. I felt that I had some kind of talent if that many people cared about what I wrote—not just the things we could geek out with together, but real things this time—and I wanted to connect with more.
I didn’t decide to do something with it until after I graduated high school. We had finished reading Gatsby in English class, and the idea of traveling and being known for your stories like F. Scott Fitzgerald appealed to me so much. In terms of my own work, I wanted to grow and write about more than falling in love—I wanted to write about topics that not everyone was comfortable hearing. Things like abuse, family cycles, toxic relationships, feminism, sex, trying to follow the American dream as a person of color, and being your own enemy. I still aim to do that now.
Personal experience is super often integral to creating. How would you say your own life has played into your writing, if at all?
Everything that happens in my life has some kind of influence on my writing—so the different characters I’ve placed in my work are most likely based off of actual people (or multiple), as well as the things I’ve gone through. I also believe heavily in the idea of fate and energies matching, so I’m constantly playing around with those concepts, and I like to think what makes my work interesting is the openness of my reflections. I try not to make my stories very “they did this, she likes him, he likes her, they break up, the end” . . . I strive to dig deeper and discover what these relationships and encounters symbolize as a whole, what they say about us as people, and if they have a universal meaning or question to life.
Quarantine and the current state of the world has been difficult for a lot of creatives. Is there a way you have been trying to push through?
I graduated college right as quarantine started, so naturally, I felt lost. I had to move out of the city to take care of my family members and almost all inspiration was gone. I hate being in the suburbs because it doesn’t give me the rush that the city does, and so I haven’t been able to pick up a pen since. I started playing video games and watching anime again, and even though it makes me sound like a couch potato, I actually think it’s what’s slowly turning the gears in my head. I find myself wanting to write fanfiction again, believe it or not, and even though I may be going back to square one, I think it’s definitely a start. My professors always told me when you go back to your roots, you’ll remember why you did something in the first place.
Are you working on anything new and exciting you would like to share with us?
I meant to submit this piece about my dad to a magazine earlier this year, but as much as I tried to clean it before the deadline, I felt that it wasn’t ready because I didn’t realize how much I had to say about him. Any person who has daddy issues knows how overwhelming it is to address these feelings, but I think after really sitting down and gathering my thoughts, finding out where they stem from—I was finally able to paint my own picture of my father instead of taking someone else’s word about him. It’s a very personal and raw piece that I think a lot of people can relate to when it comes to not being on the best of terms with someone, but also not wanting to completely believe that they’re a bad guy. I hope to finish it and find a home for it soon.
MULAN is a Chicago-based writer, editor, performer, and model/cosplayer. She has been published in various online journals and magazines such as Mementos, Cosplay Realm Magazine, Hair Trigger 42, Mental Papercuts, and The Vignette Review. To learn more about her, please visit www.iitsmulan.com.